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Life in our household has been a whirlwind.... I honestly can't remember the last time I wrote on here and published it, sorry about that. I didn't take the time to look at my last blog....
I would really love to write about the last 5 months of our lives but tonight I have to step back from all that goodness and write.... this.
I must apologize right now for the vagueness in this blog.... for the unanswered questions.... and the lack in details right now.... and for the never ending circle of thoughts that follows below...
Today I received a message on FB from an Aunt of mine on my Father's side. If anyone knows the history of my Father's side of my family and I, they know there have been struggles.... Which accelerated once I had my kids.... And I made the tough decision to cut my ties with the majority of that side of my family for the health and wellness of myself, my children and my Husband. THESE people (my family) matter the most to me and I would do anything to keep them safe, healthy and loved. No questions.
"The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn" ~ David Russell
My decision came with a life long knowledge that one day life would get hard.... Even after all the stresses had left and my little family could start enjoying life once again... I knew that one day I would receive a message that someone would be ill and the tough decision of how I would handle that would happen.... And it did.... today.
A family member is ill. Very ill. Given 2 weeks to 6 months to live.... And I am now torn between the decision I made and decided not to ever go back on over four years ago or one that will throw me into the wildfire that is that side of my family.
THIS decision sucks. There's no better way to say it. It feels like a non-winning decision either way.... If it were just my decision that just affected me, I could make it fairly quickly... But it's not just me. My Husband supports me no matter what way, I know that.... But my children's futures can quickly be affected here.... And THAT is the part I'm having trouble with.
I don't ever want to come off as cold-hearted.... But some awful things have happened to even have made me make this cut-off decision years ago.... That decision was not made lightly believe me.....
So here I sit, trying to preoccupy myself by decorating into the wee hours for our Hallowe'en Party..... Listening to music and ignoring the topic and choices ahead of me that have been on my mind all day....
I would really love to write about the last 5 months of our lives but tonight I have to step back from all that goodness and write.... this.
I must apologize right now for the vagueness in this blog.... for the unanswered questions.... and the lack in details right now.... and for the never ending circle of thoughts that follows below...
Today I received a message on FB from an Aunt of mine on my Father's side. If anyone knows the history of my Father's side of my family and I, they know there have been struggles.... Which accelerated once I had my kids.... And I made the tough decision to cut my ties with the majority of that side of my family for the health and wellness of myself, my children and my Husband. THESE people (my family) matter the most to me and I would do anything to keep them safe, healthy and loved. No questions.
"The hardest thing in life is to know which bridge to cross and which to burn" ~ David Russell
My decision came with a life long knowledge that one day life would get hard.... Even after all the stresses had left and my little family could start enjoying life once again... I knew that one day I would receive a message that someone would be ill and the tough decision of how I would handle that would happen.... And it did.... today.
A family member is ill. Very ill. Given 2 weeks to 6 months to live.... And I am now torn between the decision I made and decided not to ever go back on over four years ago or one that will throw me into the wildfire that is that side of my family.
THIS decision sucks. There's no better way to say it. It feels like a non-winning decision either way.... If it were just my decision that just affected me, I could make it fairly quickly... But it's not just me. My Husband supports me no matter what way, I know that.... But my children's futures can quickly be affected here.... And THAT is the part I'm having trouble with.
I don't ever want to come off as cold-hearted.... But some awful things have happened to even have made me make this cut-off decision years ago.... That decision was not made lightly believe me.....
So here I sit, trying to preoccupy myself by decorating into the wee hours for our Hallowe'en Party..... Listening to music and ignoring the topic and choices ahead of me that have been on my mind all day....
